Colleen Hoover’s bestselling novelIt Ends With Ushas sparked passionate debate among readers and critics alike. While some praise it for tackling the difficult subject of domestic abuse in relationships, others argue that it dangerously romanticizes toxic behavior. The line between portraying abuse for awareness and unintentionally making it seem acceptable can be thin, especially in emotionally charged fiction. As readers try to make sense of the book’s intentions, it’s important to explore whetherIt Ends With Ustruly romanticizes abuse or whether it aims to provide a meaningful commentary on difficult personal choices and cycles of violence.
Understanding the Story
It Ends With Ustells the story of Lily Bloom, a young woman who falls in love with a charismatic neurosurgeon named Ryle Kincaid. At first, their relationship seems ideal. However, as their romance develops, Ryle begins to show controlling and abusive behavior. The narrative is interwoven with Lily’s reflections on her past, especially her childhood experiences with an abusive father and her first love, Atlas Corrigan.
The novel dives into heavy themes such as domestic violence, emotional trauma, and the generational impact of abuse. Hoover has stated that the story was inspired in part by her own experiences and those of her mother, giving it a deeply personal foundation.
What Does It Mean to Romanticize Abuse?
Romanticizing abuse in fiction refers to the portrayal of abusive behaviors in a way that makes them seem desirable, forgivable, or even attractive. In romance novels, especially those targeting younger audiences, this can be dangerous. It can blur the line between healthy conflict and harmful patterns, leading readers to overlook red flags in real-life relationships.
Signs of Romanticization in Literature
- Minimizing the harm caused by abuse
- Making the abuser appear too sympathetic or redeemable
- Focusing heavily on the chemistry or passion between the characters instead of the consequences of violence
- Failing to show accountability or long-term effects of trauma
Critics ofIt Ends With Usargue that the story risks romanticizing abuse because of the intense emotional connection between Lily and Ryle, which is depicted in a way that some say downplays his violent actions. The emotional and sexual tension between them continues even after the abuse begins, leaving readers divided about the message the book is sending.
Arguments in Favor of the Book’s Portrayal
Supporters ofIt Ends With Usargue that the novel does not romanticize abuse, but rather depicts the internal struggle that many survivors face. Lily’s journey is not one of blind forgiveness but of painful awareness and growth. Instead of staying with Ryle, she ultimately makes the difficult decision to leave him for the sake of her and her child’s future.
Key Points from Supporters
- The book shows how abusers can appear kind, loving, and intelligent, making it harder for victims to leave.
- Lily’s choice to break the cycle of violence is the central theme of the story.
- It raises awareness of how complicated domestic abuse can be emotionally, not just physically.
- Hoover presents the situation from the victim’s point of view, encouraging empathy rather than judgment.
According to this view,It Ends With Usdoes not endorse abuse but exposes its complex nature in a way that many fiction stories avoid.
Arguments Criticizing the Book
On the other side, some readers and reviewers believe the book still sends mixed messages. They argue that Ryle’s charm and background story soften the impact of his violent actions. His pain and guilt are heavily explored, while the damage he causes is sometimes glossed over. This can lead readers, especially younger ones, to sympathize with him too much.
Common Criticisms
- Ryle is given too much narrative sympathy, which can confuse readers about accountability.
- The romantic scenes that follow the abuse may blur the seriousness of his actions.
- The writing sometimes focuses more on Lily’s emotional conflict than on her physical and psychological safety.
- The book’s popularity and marketing as a romance novel may attract readers who are not prepared for such heavy themes.
These points suggest that while the book may not intentionally romanticize abuse, its structure and tone could lead to misinterpretation, especially by audiences looking for a love story rather than a realistic portrayal of domestic violence.
The Role of Genre and Marketing
Part of the controversy aroundIt Ends With Usstems from its placement in the romance genre. Readers often approach romance novels with certain expectations namely, that the main couple will end up together or that love conquers all. When a story involves abuse within a romantic relationship, this expectation can cause confusion or disappointment.
Many readers were unaware that the novel would deal with domestic violence, since the cover and marketing presented it as a typical contemporary romance. This mismatch between subject matter and genre labeling may lead some readers to feel blindsided or misled.
Why Genre Labeling Matters
- It helps set expectations for tone and content.
- It informs the target audience about the book’s themes.
- It can prevent harmful misinterpretation of serious issues.
Perhaps if the book had been marketed more clearly as literary fiction or drama, it would have reached readers who were prepared for a more nuanced, emotional exploration of abuse and trauma.
Responsibility of Authors and Readers
Authors who write about abuse, especially in the context of romantic relationships, carry a significant responsibility. While fiction is not always meant to teach lessons, stories that reach wide audiences can shape perspectives, especially among young adults. Portraying abuse with care, clarity, and balance is essential to avoid glamorizing unhealthy behavior.
However, readers also have a role to play. Being aware of the themes in a book, critically analyzing character actions, and discussing these topics openly can prevent misunderstanding. Emotional responses are natural, but thoughtful reflection is necessary to separate what’s fictional from what’s acceptable in real life.
So, doesIt Ends With Usromanticize abuse? The answer is not simple. For some, it’s a powerful and emotional depiction of how difficult it is to leave an abusive relationship, especially when love and history are involved. For others, it sends confusing messages by giving the abuser too much sympathy and maintaining emotional tension after violent acts. Ultimately, the impact of the book depends on how it is read, discussed, and understood. While it raises awareness about domestic abuse, its execution invites necessary conversations about the responsibility of authors and the importance of clear storytelling in sensitive subjects.